This is something I think will help others so I thought I should post it. Maybe it will help someone.

I think everyone at some point feels trapped because they don’t know where they are going. They have this big goal way out there but its just mush. Here is an example, say you want to be a millionaire. But what is that?

How do you get there?

How long do you plan it to take?

Will you be happy when you get there? Or on the way there?


You see my point. The hows are a tricky thing and you have to be careful with them but they are a very important component. You can’t except all the hows to work out but you can expect to meet your goal if you just stay focused on that and keep reworking the hows as time goes on.

The analogy I used the other day for finding your path to your goal, was this…

Your goal is like you’re going somewhere on a map. Say I’m in New York, NY. I want to go to Los Angeles, CA. That is a clear defined goal. What helps is when you say, you will get there by a commercial jet. That is the how.

Now lets flip that, and do a less clear path….

You’re in New York, NY and you want to somewhere out west but you’re not sure where that is.

This is the primary example of saying, I want to be a millionaire or whatever it is, without clearly defining it and defining the how.  Goals and direction in life is like using GPS in your car. You know where you are, you know where you’re headed, and you know how you’re getting there.

In the case of the millionaire goal again, its broken down like this…

Where are you now?

How long do you want to take to get there?

What does being a millionaire mean to you?

What is the end game, become a millionaire and retire?

I think of this like, walking, running, horseback, car, jet. Each one has a component of speed but there is a time and cost factor to each one. For example, the jet would be the fastest and preferred method for most but there is a huge cost factor and in this case that cost factor might be giving up everything that matters to you in life, or extreme levels of stress, to get to your goal using the fastest method possible. Or to counter act that, to walk, it would take you a long time, significantly longer than taking a jet, but you get there. Likely not so stressed or having to give up much from life in general as your cost factor.

Every time I think about goals and direction in life, I think about it like a map. I’m here, I want to be there, how do I do it and how long will it take me? Goals without a deadline are just dreams and setting timelines with an expected outcome is about as perfect as you can get.

This is not to say, that this is full proof and you’ll always reach your goals with this methodology, although you are significantly more likely. Life happens, goals and directions change. I’m the biggest example of that. Someday I’ll dive into that. If the how changes, so what? If the goal changes, no big deal. You do you. You get what you want from life and purse your dreams. This isn’t meant to be treated as definitive but it is used to be treated how to relax and figure everything out. Something I’ve been doing for years and up until recently lost touch with this methodology.

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Instant gratification

My bad on not posting in a bit. Lots of thoughts and things to do. Been in my head a lot lately, hard to put thoughts to words kind of thing. And overall just writers block.

This has been a topic I’ve had in my head for a bit. Partially because I suffered from it for a bit. I got so used to getting messages all the time from some people and then getting used to it being quiet is tricky. Clearly, I was used to the constant gratification of hearing from people. It’s messed up because 3 or so years ago, you could drop me off in the woods and I would’ve been fine. I was totally okay with not hearing from people. Preferred to be alone, which is kind of true to this day. It’s just that this constant drip of messages from people messed with my head.

More or less what I’m saying is cell phones are the devil. Social media, and everything around it, will mess you up if you are constantly on it.

I’m actually working on spending at least 1 week with no technology. Don’t know when that week will come but soon. Highly recommend everyone to give it a shot. This means no phone, email, twitter, instagram, you name it. Just life like it was 1990s again.

I fear for this world and humankind as a whole. We expect everything instantly. We expect all of life to just happen and no one wants the wait. The grind. The time it takes to go from being a amateur to a pro. People want relationships to happen overnight so they rush into things. We buy on Amazon (I do), because we want it today. The journey no longer matters. When really that’s all that should matter. I fear that if we don’t realize this isn’t normal, this isn’t how life is meant to be lived, it will only hurt us all, we are in terrible trouble. Anytime you see that instant gratification happening in your life, best to step back and realize if this is something good for you. Likely its not.

People wonder how Facebook, Instagram, Snapchat, all got these crazy evaluations, worth billions overnight. It wasn’t the user base. Sure, that matters but what really matters, its a constant feedback loop. Its you sitting at there with a device, pressing a button, and you feel good. You do it over and over again. It becomes addictive. That’s why its worth billions. Imagine making something that can get billions of people addicted, what would that be worth to you? If you’re reading that and thinking this has been done before, you’d be right. Cigarettes, are no different than all this social media. And a lot of tech in general. If you ask any of the people that created this stuff, they will say, this is the intent. If they are honest, they will say that at least. Throughout time, if you look at the most successful businesses they are the ones that gain the most customers/users, but its better when they become addicted to it.

With all that said, do you want to be addict to a product? To something that isn’t real. To have happiness come from an artificial world. You may say this isn’t you, but I ask you this, when you post something, does the amount of likes you get excite you, make you happy, does something for you? That’s not good.

Like anything else in life, it is all about balance. Finding balance in everything, what you want. Constantly monitoring yourself and your actions to be a better you. Balance with all this social media is good. But you’re almost better off with out it all together. Life is meant to be lived. You are meant to spend time with your friends in person, not through photos. Or through skype or any other video platform. Go live. Take on the world. Go do what you’ve dreamed and live the most important life possible. Why? Because this is the only life you got. You will die. All this other stuff, facebook, twitter, etc won’t matter to you when you’re 80. What matters to you is what you want from life. Make it happen and forget all this other stuff.

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What do you want?

This is a question, I think needs to be asked a lot.

What do you want?

What do you want from life?

What matters to you?

Do you want happiness? What does that look like?


Some of the common responses to this are:


Marriage, a good one, both are happy

Success in life




And the list could go on and on….

I think its important to define it, and be specific. If you want that relationship then understanding who that person is that you want, is highly important.

For success, it’s the same. It’s defining, the what. What does that look like. How do you get there. Who are your customers, where do they come from, what do they want?

Maybe you can see a pattern. Its all about knowing. Spending time to define it. Think about it. Write it down. Discuss it. Go after it.


Don’t know what you want?

Simple, go live life. Try new things. As for business, try new marketing methods, join new business networks, talk to other businesses. It’s all about growth. Only way to grow is to reach for the stars, just like plants. You gotta go out and see what you do want and what you don’t. This kind of touches the concept of inversion. Learning what you don’t want is a key process to finding what you do want.

Overall the point of this post is to say, define what you want in life. That is 80% of the challenge. If you can’t define it, you will have a hard time reaching it. Just like sailing a ship from Europe to the US. If you don’t know how to get to the US, or you don’t have much direction, or even where your end point is, you might spend the rest of your life in the ocean.

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