Sadness and death

I recently had a death in a family, someone I really care about. This person meant a lot to me and really affected my life in so many ways.

Unlike most, I wasn’t really sad about their death. They overcame so much, they effected so many lives, they made my life better. I didn’t see a reason to be sad because I was lucky enough to have them in my life. To spend the time I had with them. And they wanted to pass to be in heaven. They lived a very amazing and fulfilling life.

My point is for me is that, I don’t want to be mourned when I die. Sure I don’t want people to be like, “good riddance he’s gone.” I mean, oh well if that’s how they feel. I would want people to be happy because I lived a full life, I gave back as much as I could, I affected as many people as I could. Celebrate my life, do not feel bad inside because I’m gone or because we can never talk again. If I spent enough time with you, I hope our conversations are always inside you.

I understand, loosing someone such as a young child is gut wrenching and hard to bare. Even still I see it as, I got to get to know this kid or help raise this child. You can say they never got a chance to see the world or experience life. True, that may be the case. But maybe the time they had on this earth meant something. It was to teach others something, even if for only a short while.

I think life and death should be thought of and treated differently. We shouldn’t be sad when someone passes. We had them in our lives and regardless of your position on religion, life is a miracle. To have another person in your life is like having a miracle with you everyday. We take everyone for granted because we just assume they (and ourselves), will always be there.

Life is short. No matter when you leave this earth. We shouldn’t be stuck in a place of depression or sorrow. We should be thankful for the time we have and the time we have with the ones we care about. When they or we pass, know that they were a miracle and we’re so lucky to have had the time with them.

I’m going to celebrate the ones I love everyday. I’m going to remember and celebrate the ones I love that have passed everyday. I’m going to remember that I’m a miracle and so is everyone else. I’m lucky to be here and I got a lot to do before this life ends.

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Setting a day for rest

I’m pretty bad at this until recently. As of recent, I used to try and rest a few hours a night or one hour or set a day but never really follow through. The reality is the body and mind both need rest, beyond just sleeping.

For me, I take Sundays off. I do everything I can to make sure I’m not thinking about work or things I need to do. Worse case I end up working on things I want to get done. Not need to get done.

This would be things like:

  • Reading books
  • Cleaning my vehicles
  • Learning something new
  • Working on a fun coding project
  • Go out and do something fun and new

Now those would be my “want to get done”s. You decide what works for you.

The biggest mind shift for me is not letting myself think about what needs to get done. I always have a ton of things that need to get done. Sundays are just not the day for that thinking. I think that was always the fault in my past attempt of trying to take time to rest. I would always feel guilty because I’m not getting X done.

Example to this, I would be at a family event and think, “I should be working on X right now.” Instead of unplugging and enjoying time with them. Or (and I hate to admit this) I’d be with someone I was dating at the time, we’d be relaxing and I couldn’t shut my brain off from all these things I need to do.

That’s a two part equation for me. One being that I work for myself at the end of the day, so I must get stuff done in order to get anywhere in life. Two being that I’m ultra driven and I have this need to go as far as I possibly can in life, which is a blessing and a curse all in one (for those of you who feel this way, I feel you.)

I don’t know if I can offer any thoughts on how to shut it off. It took time for me. Honestly, I may write on this in the future.

Regardless, if you want to have any level of happiness, improved performance, and feeling well…. It’s time to make time to rest.

Learn to shut your brain off and take the time your body and mind need.

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Time for action

I think we all spend moments in our lives deciding when we should move something forward.

When should I start that business?

When should I start going to the gym?

When should my girlfriend and I get married?

When should we have kids?

I think these thoughts are the subconscious bubbling up into the conscious. I think it’s yourself, telling you, you want these things, these moments in life. The answer I find to many is now. Right now is the time to start. Not tomorrow or next week.

Now before a bunch of people read this, run off, and get married or have kids on a whim, let me preface with that I believe there should be a plan. In life we ought to plan as much as we can. Expect the unexpected. Expect the plan to fail. Set backstops as they do in the military (Backstops for those who don’t know, is a plan B, plan C, and plan D; when a certain part of a plan fails.)

What I’m say is that you are asking yourself these questions because you truly want them. So the answer is to plan. To create action now, through planning. Deciding how you can make this happen and set a deadline. Obviously having kids, isn’t in your control as much and you can’t call the shots on that completely. But you can say you want to start trying to have kids this July and you can spend the time between then and now preparing. Learning what you need to know.

The key in all this is that we must create action in life. We must move forward. Drive the needle in life forward. If our minds are telling us, “hey I want more in life”, “I want to travel the world”, “I want to find the love of my life”, then you must pursue that. You must find a way to make that happen.

Start today. What is your body and mind telling you? What do you want in life? Get out the pen and paper and start riffing it out. Make a plan, and another and another, till you find the one you like best.

None of this is easy, don’t expect it to be. We live in a world where we expect things to be easy. Life isn’t meant to be that way. Expect it to be hard and push through it. Your mind is your limit in life, you can break that limit at anytime, as soon as you relish in the hard things and you keep on going.

I believe we are all meant for great things. I believe we all can achieve happiness in life. We let our minds and other peoples opinions and thoughts get in our way. Creating action and having a plan you stick to, makes everything else disappear. Now it’s time to make it happen and earn the greatness!

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